the punch line of life

I needed cereal. I had just finished the last of my Honey Nut Cheerios and I was jonesin' for something new. In hindsight, Costco may might not have been the best place to go pick out a tasty new breakfast treat. For one, Costco doesn't always have what you're looking for. They're limited to only those goods they can get from distributors and even they don't know what that's going to be from day to day. So if you're looking for your favorite label of this or that, you might have to go with your second, third, fourth or fifth favorite choice. The rub here is that if you do buy your second, third or fourth choice, you're going to have enough of it to last you seven months and by then your favorite brand will have come back to the store and left again. You learn a lot about self control and patience in these tense moments. I walked out with my sixth choice - Life cereal. Enough to last me nine years.

I must have been quite a sight walking up to the cattle pen-like checkout lines with just ONE item under my arm. In a store that's famous for flatbed trucks being used for grocery carts, and six tons of groceries per customer, a man with a modest-sized box of LIFE must have looked pretty ironic on many levels. It also didn't help that I was clutching that single box of LIFE as if it were my life. I have no explanation of why I clung to it so.

My LIFE only cost me $5.99.

But I digress. This isn't a tale of shopping woe.

I have always felt that the ratio of good to evil can be measured by the amount of money that's present. The only exception to this rule is an Ass Pounding. Money or no money, anal sex is just pure goodness...Unless you're the poundee. No matter how hard you wish it, you'll never be able to take the sting out of an ass pounding.

Eating enough LIFE will eventually make you feel like you're receiving an ass pounding from the inside out. But pushing a flat bed trailer around that is loaded up with six tons of goods and then standing in line for an hour will clog you up - both figuratively and literally. Perhaps they should of just got some LIFE.