what's in the other hand?

I have spent years and years standing, kneeling or laying behind women, pushing, stroking, choking, yelling obscenities, bruising my balls, smacking their ass cheek, and wondering the whole time, "What expression is on her face right now?"

I don't know why I spend so much time wondering about this stuff. Normal people just enjoy the fact that they're getting laid and just lose themselves in the pleasure of it all, but not me. Perhaps I'm fixed on it because it's the only time I can't see her face during the romp and, therefore, the only time I don't know if she's digging what I'm doing or not.

Countless women have told me doggie style is their favorite position for various different reasons, which makes me assume the face they're making is better, more twisted, than the one they're make during all the other not-as-good positions. Now, I'm not the greatest lover in the world, nor is my cock all that huge, so a great deal of the super ecstatic faces that you see women making in porn films, or through open windows while they're humping their monster cock lovers, isn't all that common to my experience. However, I have made the faces of a good gaggle of women contort with my own special type of humpin.'

But I have no idea what they're doing during the "hard lovin" style of doggie and that burns in my soul. I have purposefully tried to twist a woman in half, which isn't easy to do, and the pained face that they're making in that position is due more in part to the irregular twisting than the ecstasy of my "pushing."

I lose my concentration more often than not when I'm in the doggie, just because I want to know. It doesn't take long for my mind to wander off while I'm back there, and on more than one occasion I have actually started rapping my fingers on her back. It's not until she says something that I pop back to reality. If you're sitting there going, "Why not use a mirror?" I've already thought of it and I have. But a woman knowing there is a mirror, or a camera, or a live audience in the room, will always overact when she knows she's in the limelight. At least every time I have tried it, the victim has always gone a little overboard with the "ohhhhs" and "aaaaahhhhs" and "oh my Gods." I guess I could have someone hide in the room and then have them hold up a mirror that my conquest can't see, but that seems like a lot of effort for such a cheap curiosity.

Sadly, curiosity is a powerful, powerful narcotic and you can never say no to it. You open a fortune cookie, you have to read that fortune (or you'll die). You can't throw it away. In fact, I don't know anyone, and I have never heard of anyone, who has ever thrown away the fortune without looking at it. I do, but I do it to piss off people who are with me that HAVE to know what it says, even though it's MY fortune. I love doing that! I'll even eat it so they won't get to see it.

Someday, I will figure out a way to see what the other side of the fence looks like while I'm painting it, but for now, I'm forced to live with the great unknown. Perhaps that is what drives me to keep humping so many women. Maybe I think that the next girl will be a "look-backer" - that most elusive and very rarist of woman. I have heard stories about them, but it's always, "My friend has a brother, who knows someone, that humped a look-backer." So until I run into one of those spine-free ladies, I will just have to keep eating fortune cookies.